Montana Trout Bums Please Support HB5678
January in Montana can be a tough time for a fly fisherman. The weather is less than ideal with only a few good days. The ski bunnies are all hopped up on frapichinos and constantly spew bro brah rhetoric about epic days. Snowmobilers are high off the exhaust of 2 cycle motors. Solid spring dry fly fishing feels a world away. The amount of sunlight each day would not grow a mushroom. Lastly, the summers money is quickly running out and trips to the bar are a decision between food for a week and a few bud lights.
January is the month true Montana trout bums get in trouble. Call it boredom, a lack of melatonin or just not enough days with wet feet. Whatever the cause January trouble for fish bums is a real disease. In fact, it is reported that one in five Montana Trout Bums will get a visit from law enforcement during this month. A 75% increase over months like July. This has become a true state emergency that is being ignored from all branches of local and state government.
With over 25 years’ experience we have come up with a cure for the January trouble for Montana Fish Bums. While the cure is relatively simple and logical it is a harsh reality for most bums. To cure this epic disease all these fish bums need to do is go winter fishing.
Winter fishing can be tougher than spring, summer or fall and that is why most do not go. The river, the air and even the fish are really really cold. Waders, polertec, and long johns are the norm. Fish catch rates are down as well. What makes January fishing so important to these Montana Trout Bums is this. While it is hard, they have the river to themselves. The loneliness and solitude reinforce the bond they have with the water and fish and decrease anxiety by almost 50%. Also, the number of calories exerted trekking to the river in chest deep snow and keeping warm strengthens the body and clears the mind. Lastly when these Montana Trout Bums do catch a fish just the touch of a wild rainbow trout has healing properties that transcend modern medicine. In fact, it is proven that if a Montana Trout Bum fishes at least once every two weeks it decreases the likelihood of getting in trouble by almost 90%. These results might seam unbelievable, but they have been proven in a double-blind study.
If the cure to Montana Trout Bums winter troubles are just going winter fly fishing why is this not sponsored or even subsidized from the state government? They see the immediate benefits in reduced law enforcement calls, court costs and administrative fees that total over 1 million dollars state wide. With all the disfunction and overspending in government we feel this is a program we can get behind. Subsidized winter fly fishing trips for troubled Montana Trout Bums or HB 5678 is in front of the Montana Legislature this session and we ask everyone to support this. For the betterment of trout towns and trout bums state wide let’s support this great bill and make it become law.
If you’re a struggling trout bum thinking of getting drunk off Bud Light and drunk calling and ex-girlfriend from three years ago or if a nighttime street sign shooting spree feels like a good idea, hold on help is on the way.
